The Deluded

The Deluded - Olivier Bosman, Wolf Augustus The story itself isn't bad, it really isn't. And I quite like Bosman's off-handed way of characterisation.
But it's all tell and no show, and needed an editor. Not a proofreader, SPaG were just fine. But someone, preferably a British native, to polish the language - which in this case also means: make it even more pulpy.